Most of you know that James's office was closed at the end of March, and like many others are experiencing right now, the job hunt has been a bit of a struggle up to this point. It's been a humbling experience to say the least.
I am so proud of my husband and all that he has accomplished. Unfortunately, I don't do a good enough job of letting him know this, but likely add more stress onto him during my (near daily) questioning of why this whole job thing isn't working out. James is hard working, intelligent, well spoken, has his Master's degree, a professional certification in his field (that isn't required) and years of experience. So why aren't these companies beating down our door begging him to work for them? It's honestly perplexing to me.
The only explanation possible is that, for right now at least, it's not God's will for James to have a job. For whatever reason His plan is for me to work and James to stay home. The thought that there's a high chance this scenario could continue after my maternity leave is over, is a hard one to accept...and believe me, there are days that I don't do a good job of accepting it. But when I sit and am still and listen to God, really listen to Him, He helps me to accept, embrace even, His will...and I am overwhelmed to tears. Not tears of anger or frustration or resentment or disappointment - the kind that so easly overtake me when I try to carry the burden alone, but tears of humility and appreciation and unbelievably, tears of gratitude.
This is my 200th post, and like my 100th, I wanted it to mean something. And although I could write (and read!) all day long about the cute things Hunter does, my true role while I'm living in this temporary home is to glorify God. So, hopefully, this small, insignificant post, will do just that.
Every morning after I drop off Hunter at school and turn the corner to start heading to work, I start this song. It brings me to tears every single time. No exceptions. It is the best reminder I've found - other than scripture - that God's plan is the one that I need to accept. And although He longs to fulfill the requests I make to Him, He may not do it today. But at the very least, He will conform my heart and will to His, if I trust in Him. For His way is perfect and He has a plan for my family that He will reveal to us in His perfect timing.
I hope you can take the time to listen to the entire song. (Don't forget to pause the music I have going on my blog. It's on the bottom now.) I encourage you to close your eyes (because I feel like the pictures actually take away from the song) and really listen to the lyrics and their meaning...and then start really listening to God and the plans He has for your life...