A Different Kind of Stink

So today we finally replaced the dog pee carpet. I am feeling so excited about this that I've decided to share a spontaneous poem* addressed to the old inhabitants of Hunter's room.

We've finally been rid of your carpet full of pee.

And all I can say is "Yipee Yipee!"

I will not miss it one little bit.

And no longer think of you when I sit on it.

Okay that wasn't great, maybe I'm better at Haikus.

Goodbye stinky pee.

Hunter will smell you no more.

And neither will I.

Okay so I suck at that too. I'll just stick to blogging -

James got to stay home from work today because of the "holiday." (It's days like this that my memories of working as a school speech therapist aren't so bad). I knew the carpet was coming today, so I was pretty excited - 1. because I no longer have to smell that stank and 2. because I didn't have to deal with the dudes installing it (my paranoia doesn't mix well with strangers in my house).

On the way home I called James. Here is a recap of our conversation.

James: hello (extremely irritated)

Carole: what's wrong?

James: I'm just a little stressed.

Carole: why?

James: Hunter has thrown up 2 times today. After I changed his clothes the second time, I sat him in the living room while I started putting his furniture back in his room. I walked in to check on him and something smelled. BAD. I picked him up to change him and my hand got wet because he had DIARRHEAED ALL OVER THE PLACE. It was like he wasn't even wearing a diaper! I had to put him in the bathtub and throw away the pajamas he was wearing. He screamed at the top of his lungs the entire time.
Carole: (cracking up on the inside) I'm (hahaha) so (snort) sorry (can'tcontainthelaughteranymore)

James: It might stink a little when you walk in the house because I haven't had a chance to finish cleaning up.

Carole: I'll clean it when I get home (not laughing anymore)

(This conversation in no way prepared me for the stink that I experienced when I walked in the door. It knocked me over. The dog pee smelled like flowers compared to this. Barf.)

So we took Hunter to the doctor only to see some other doctor that's not ours because ours wasn't in due to the "holiday". She spent approximately 6.2 minutes with us and basically said "He's got a virus. There's nothing I can do to help you. Keep him hydrated." Good use of $20 there.

Although I am a psycho picture taker I thought I would spare Hunter today since he didn't feel well. But, if I had taken pics, this is what he would've looked like at home:

and this would've been him in the doctor's office:

Thanks Hunter. Way to make our story beliveable.

*If anyone can tell me what awesome movie "spontaneous poem" is in reference to, I will make you my favorite person of the day.